Ray J says he was afraid when Princess Love‘s cousin and her husband pulled up to his house demanding to take his kids … but, even though he held a gun, he says he never pointed it at anyone.

The singer tells TMZ … he went to his private bedroom to tell the live stream he was on that nobody would take his kids while they were intoxicated — as he’s alleging Princess Love and co. were at the time.

He says he didn’t like having two people — not including Princess Love, who lives in her own house down the street — being in his private space near his child … calling them aggressive and belligerent. Ray J says the three were invited guests to prep Thanksgiving dinner, but he didn’t love that the extended family were up in the bedroom area.

PL grabbed their daughter, Melody, he claims … before her cousin went to grab his son … while he alleges her husband tackled him. Ray J says 20 cops pulled up in response to the incident, guns drawn … which further traumatized his two children.

However, Ray J tells us he “would never point a gun at anybody including Princess Love.” Despite the tension, Ray J adds he will always love Princess Love … though they’ve only communicated over text since the whole incident went down.

Remember … the tension went down on a live stream — during which Ray J appeared to load his gun. He could be heard yelling in the video as well, telling Princess’ cousin’s husband, “I’ll shoot the f*** out of you.”

He also told him, “I’ll kill you,” followed by “Get out of my house before I shoot you right now. I got a gun on me.” So, while Ray J says he never planned on hurting anyone, he certainly acted like it was in the cards.

Ray J was booked on a charge of making a criminal threat — not necessarily for pointing a gun at anyone, which again he says he’d never do. He was released on $50K bail. Love blasted Ray J … calling him “more than a drunk” and alleging last time the kids were around him, they found him naked in bed with a woman.